More and more I've been feeling like even the question "Are you a top or a bottom? The father of the bottom. Although these three groups of men did not differ in reported hariness, weight, and height, tops reported being more masculine and having larger penises than bottoms — versatile men fell somewhere between the two. One study suggests that versatility has been a key factor in the prevalence of new HIV infections. Despite its prevalence, sexual versatility repulses straight people, at least according to one study. That's fine with me. Hart report the following study findings regarding identity versus actual practice: What about gay men who have never engaged in anal sex and never will, ever?
The gift may sometimes feel like a curse. Understanding the fundamental nebulousness of traditional gender roles in gay sex is key to understanding gay people and their relatively relaxed attitudes about sex. This Yale Law Journal study of what penetrative preferences could mean for sexuality claims under Price Waterhouse found 54 percent versatility. Belief in the implicit supremacy of man-on-man sex is the closest thing I have to faith. The finding was an "overall pattern of feeling most comfortable with unspecified-Tom, followed by top-Tom, then bottom-Tom, then versatile-Tom" to both questions. Still, portraying versatility as the "problem" seems mislaid! With versatility come options, and options allow you to tailor your sexuality to your partner or mood or curiosity. The opportunity for anal pleasure exists in men and women alike, whether they are gay, bisexual, straight or of any orientation in between. The preferences seemed to vary by state, however. In my office I've heard straight men admit that they enjoy receiving anal penetration from sex toys, or by having their female partners strap on a dildo and give it to them. A versatile bottom is one who prefers to bottom but who tops occasionally. Ask The Duke of Burgundy. Top[ edit ] A top is usually a person who engages in the penetrative role during sexual activity; for men who have sex with men MSMs , this often involves penetration using the penis during anal or oral sex. Relaxing turned out to be an active process for me, something I had to, somewhat counter-intuitively, concentrate on. This has also been true in my personal experience. Versatility to them is akin to speaking two different languages. Being anally penetrated can affect your erection, too, so if things are moving in the direction where I'm going to be topping, I'd rather you stay away from my ass. Acts which were not divisible into distinct roles however, such as "69" or "anything" followed a pattern where one flagged interest by wearing the hanky on the right, uninterest by wearing it on the left, and preferences that did not relate to sexual mechanics, such as uniform fetishism or prostitution, followed a pattern where the seeker flagged on the left and the object of desire flagged on the right. This is true, in part, because gender cannot be used to decide sex roles if both partners are the same gender. Keep in mind that these are all based on self-reporting, so they're faulty by nature, but when it comes to identity, we have no other choice than to trust its possessors. This study of Australian men ages 40 and up found 62 percent of respondents identifying as versatile. Some researchers, including sociologist Trevor Hoppe , refer to these as positional identities. It builds up and tears down notions of power associated with sexual roles, and through that arrives at an ambiguity that is honest and complicated. More and more I've been feeling like even the question "Are you a top or a bottom? Common sense dictates as much, given the equipment involved. It could be great; it could be massively painful; it could be uncomfortable enough to feel like a big waste of time. Flipping is great, but it's intense, advanced, and it sometimes creates a sensation overload.
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TOP OR BOTTOM?
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